gratitude & grief

both? at once? of course. (it's pub day).

My chapbook’s official publication day is… today! You can purchase it here or at AWP in Seattle next week.

Last Stop is a poetry chapbook of the grief poems I wrote after my dad’s death in 2020. His 54th birthday would’ve been this Saturday. I still struggle to let myself fully be happy whenever I should be celebrating. I feel that loss and that absence. With this book, though, the fact that I’m honoring him makes me feel more excited. Our relationship wasn’t perfect (is anyone’s?) but I still miss him. I often wish he could be here to see my words out in the world.

Being trans in a transphobic space can feel like a constant grieving as well. We’ve already lost too many people to violence this year. We all face our small violences every day, especially those of us who are multiply marginalized. But at the same time there is so much beauty in our existence. Lately I am trying to write towards that beauty, though I’m mostly still stuck at the tension between the grief and the gratitude.

So that’s what I’ve been mulling over while planning for AWP, finishing a thesis, working two jobs, and working on lit mags. (Do I sleep? Technically.)

I am frankly overwhelmed today, but in the best way possible. Thanks for being on the journey with me.

<3